Friday, January 18, 2013

Art and Insecurities

I have been working on some pieces for Art Walk February 2nd in Santa Ana.  Last night I woke up with my heart pounding. The nagging voice in my head was growing louder. The voice of insecurity. All artists know this voice. Usually it is a whisper at the back of our mind saying - Is that your best? _ Hasn't that been done? -Will anyone like this? Last night my inner voice of insecurity was screaming at me. Very rude! " Your bird sucks! - You are rusty!"

So what do you do? I was laying there wide awake and it occurred to me that nothing bad would happen if my bird sucked. No one would be harmed, no one would starve, the world would not be knocked off its axis. I am not defined by a bird I painted. This is the year of no fear! I will paint. I will exhibit my work. I am certain that if I allow myself to give it a go after not painting for almost 25 years, something amazing will happen. Or maybe,  I will simply not be afraid to paint any more.

I walked away from the fine arts when I graduated from college and never looked back. During my last few weeks as an undergrad all of my work from the previous four years was on exhibit. The majority of the exhibit was stolen. I did not shed a tear or get mad. I just walked away and accepted that the universe had told me it was time to put away my toys and get on with my career. It has taken me this long to realize I could have been enjoying creating all this time. So this is a new beginning- a do over if you will.  I will re-learn the techniques I so enjoyed and I will paint.  It may suck but I will enjoy myself.

You will have to come to art walk to see the entire painting but here is the bird I lost sleep over. I started by sketching on paper in colored pencil and when I liked what I had I decided to actually use that image. ( I was afraid to try drawing it again.) I collaged it onto the canvas and added many layers of paint. In fact I had trouble stopping. I could just not get it quite right. So here is my imperfect bird!

Be fearless!! It wil free your creativity.



  1. Hi Tara,
    Thank you for your beautiful and inspirational post - the bird is lovely and you are fearless.
    My favorite quote that I try and live and create by is:
    "Feel the Fear - and do it Anyway" by Susan Jeffers. She has a great website with some wonderful information about fear. She passed away last year but her website is still up.
    Have a creative day.

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  3. Put that "blue bird" on your shoulder and use it like Dumbo the elephant and his feather to give you courage and walk thru the wind, walk thru the rain...... You description of insecurity was brilliantly o target.... loved your blog. betti zucker