My Latest Obsession

This is a picture our guest room. Recently, I redecorated so I could feature my collection of baby gowns. Some are little cotton shifts and some are actual christening gowns. I love the sweet cotton that has taken on that golden hue that comes with age. Most of my collection is pre 1930. 

I have always loved items that play with scale and these are no exception. Tiny buttons and diminutive ruffles and lace make me smile. Maybe I just want to dress Lulu and Max in them. Face it, I love all things tiny.  Dogs, perfume bottles, buttons, figurines and frozen Charlottes. 

Today I found more at a fave store and it was all I could do to muster the self control to not buy them all. I started collecting them with a project in mind. Now I cannot bare to sacrifice one to be altered. This means I just need more to choose from right?  Well that is my story and I am sticking to it!!!

  

Creating a Memo Board- Up-cycled Silver Tray!

                                

    

I found a lovely silver tray at a yard sale but when I got it home and cleaned the dirt off it was pretty shabby. It had a great shape and detail so I scrubbed it well with fine grit steel wool being careful not to rub off any detail. Then I went to the garage to see what spray paint I had in stock. Pink Rustoleum was the perfect choice. I sprayed the tray using two light coats on the front repeating on the back a few hours later. Voila a magnetic treasure board!

                                   

   

Not all trays will be magnetic so take a small magnet with you when shopping. I use this trick when looking at costume jewelry or findings too. Brass is not magnetic and I do not buy any vintage jewelry items that test magnetic. They are steel plated and will rust. 

Take a minute to get creative today. Just a little paint can change your world!

                                  

 

Xo,

Tara

I love a Collage

  

It had been a while since I created anything. My spirit needed a creative infusion. I have gotten used to the meds and I am feeling more like myself. My head is still a little fuzzy but what the heck! I am beginning a series of collaged pieces. Some mixed media pieces of art, some jewelry and a few altered goodies. 

I will have months with very limited ability to create so I am learning a little embroidery to occupy myself when I am laid up.  I have tea towels and a few other items to embellish. Should keep me busy and out of trouble for a bit. 

Xxoo

Creativity, Pain and Possibility

                                     

   

Last Thursday I began a journey.  I had a surgery called a discogram. Without anesthesia they made a small incision in my lower back. They then inserted long needles into and around the discs of my spine from L2 through the L5SI  joint.  I begged for mercy between F bombs. The pain was intense and torturous. Thank god it was also brief.  At one point, I believe just from the pain, I stopped breathing.

The silver lining?

The mere fact that they were able to replicate my significant pain meant we could proceed with the fusing of my back in a later surgery. It is a very strange thing when good news comes in the form of pain. After the surgery they injected lidocaine into my discs and nerves. I had two glorious pain free hours!!!!

So of course my husband and I used the time to try a new lunch spot. The Carnitas Shack in San Diego- it was amazing. I had carnitas tacos and two chocolate bacon whiskey truffles. I swear I heard angels sing.  

There is a point to this story. One moment life is pain filled and miserable and the next is chocolate bacon whiskey bliss. It would be so easy to miss the bliss. I could have just gone home to bed but I would have missed the bliss. It was not really the food it was the ability to enjoy a moment with my husband. I am determined to find the moments of bliss in the next few months.

The pain has made being creative difficult. The pain meds make it hard to concentrate so I can blame any errors in this post on that most conveniently. I have tried to enjoy a book here and there. So what if I have to re-read parts. This will not be a productive period in my life and I have accepted that fact. This experience will make me stretch and grow in ways I would not choose, but will benefit from none the less. I will focus on the possibilities! Perhaps I will be truly pain free for the first time in 3 years. Maybe I will make a new friend or find a new strength.  Perhaps I will be forced to acknowledge a weakness.

The possibilities are endless! I knowing will be an adventure. I will share some or all of my journey here.

Xo

Tara

Crying In My Fries

Disclaimer: The author of this blog post is heavily medicated, teary and scared out of her wits!

After my husband got called in to work again this week I decided dinner would be In N Out. Yum! As I sat there in my car, all quiet with time to think, I began to cry. Not just tears for my hurting back but a release of fear and worry that has plagued me for weeks zapping my energy and my creativity. As the tears streamed down my face I realized I had not cried when I got the news that I need my entire lower back fused in a horrific surgery.

As is my usual response I began "getting ready" for the surgery. I bought two old lady snap front nightgowns,  figured out what items on my calendar I had to cancel, bought birthday presents for friends with upcoming birthdays, cleaned off my desk, organized my studio, did laundry, arranged help for my upcoming east coast buying help, made a ridiculous honey do list for my hubby, scheduled our annual termite inspection and the list goes on. I did not want to think about how terrified I was.

They are going to cut me in half front and back and insert a huge metal cage, plates and screws. No reason to be scared. I will not be able to drive, craft, cook, sit, travel, shop, clean, go to concerts at the fair, hit the beach, paint, make jewelry or any of the things that make my life rich. No reason to be scared. I will have one to three months of considerable pain that will be only partially taken care of with the narcotics that will make me a zombie. No reason to be scared.  The rehab portion where I learn to walk and do everything else safely will last an excruciating six months. No reason to be scared.

As I sat there cramming french fries in my mouth and crying I realized I am not scared I am TERRIFIED! I have been scared before- no big. I have never been terrified. I cannot avoid it, nor can I wallow in it. I am acknowledging my fear and moving forward. I have given myself permission to miss things, cancel things, change things and ask for things and do whatever helps. This is about getting through something really awful.

My friends have all rallied around me and offered help. I will need it. I have never had to ask for help like this. I am known for being fiercely independent and self reliant.  Accepting and asking for help with grace will be a new challenge. So here I sit- scared and that is alright. I will fight through the pain to rehab in record time. I will regain my independence one day at a time. With a ton of love, friendship, medical miracle workers, and a ridiculous amount of help from my friends I will get through this.

This is Addy. The best pain medicine ever. She delivers puppy kisses and snuggles in large doses. I have not forgotten my sweet Max or Lulu, they are helping with snuggles and kisses too. There is just something special about a puppy. They have magic healing powers for your worries or ailments.

I am not sure I had a point in sharing this- maybe I just did it for myself to acknowledge the fright and get back to being creative instead of avoiding the feeling.  At the end of this journey I will have a journal filled with bad, drug induced, emotional sketches. I am not sure they will translate into new jewelry designs but it should be pretty amusing! I cannot wait to get back to creating! I am going to rock Spring 2014!!!

Cancer Makes Me Angry

In the war on cancer we can all play a part. One of the nicest people I know received the news today that she has breast cancer. I hope she knows there is an army behind her ready for this fight. She is strong and a woman of faith and I know she will kick the crap out of cancer.  I know from my personal experience she will need help. 

In 2004, I was diagnosed with a very deadly form of cancer. I had a 5% chance of making it 5 more years. I was scared. Really scared. I told people and they acted like oh cancer- no big deal. The cancer was in my cervix and no one dies from that right? I did not want to explain that I did not have the ordinary cervical cancer but rather a very deadly adenocarcinoma. I could not utter the reality. I felt so isolated. I had my surgery in San Diego and had no friends in the area.  I spent 8 weeks in intensive care after surgery. My right lung collapsed and I had a terrible pneumonia. I ended up with a chest tube and nearly died.  No one came to visit. No flowers, no cards no calls. No one knew I was still in the hospital. Everyone assumed I had a quick surgery and had resumed my life as normal.  I share this because when we hear someone has cancer we do not know what to say. They are sick- we think we should not bother them. Everyone assumes they have had tons of calls and visitors. 

I was so lucky. It took a team of amazing doctors to find a cocktail of antibiotics to save my life. After about 8 months I had my strength back. I needed no further treatment. No chemo or radiation. Whew!! Since my experience in the hospital I have been quietly delivering care packages to those I know will have a hospital stays or have to undergo chemo. It is one way I know that I can provide just a tiny bit of comfort. I know all too well the things you need in the hospital. A throw blanket, baby wipes, chap stick, face cleaning towelettes, good hand cream, a headband, magazines, bottled water and slipper sox make a stay a tiny more pleasant. 

I share this so you know that your friend or family member needs you after they hear the word cancer. Call, text, visit and keep offering to help. The journey is a long one and help and encouragement is needed at every step. If you live far away send a crazy funny card every couple of weeks. Offer to pick up/drop off the kids. Take charge and arrange a few weeks of meals for the family. Every little action is helpful. Know that your call or visit is appreciated. If you arrive at the hospital and they are not up for a visitor just say hello and just know that the fact you came meant everything.    

Everyone assumed I was strong and had everything taken care of- I did not. So call often, visit when you can and find a way to help. Cancer wages war so lets fight back together!

To my friend- I have an endless supply of cupcakes to see you through this!!! XXOO

Vintage Inspiration at Whimzy!

Today was a perfect California spring day! I decided to hit my favorite flea market in Tustin to do a little treasure hunting! For me, looking at all the little treasures gets my wheels churning. Imagining all the possibilities for giving these little treasures a new life.  When I am creatively stuck I often head over to my favorite antique stores. Today I was just going to enjoy a little sunshine and browse. I have been keeping a little mental list of things I would like to find when out treasure hunting and today was the day! I found everything on my list. I had been wanting a little 1950 bluebird and there she sat in a darling little stall just calling my name. I also found a little pocket shrine statue, two casket style jewelry boxes, four vintage hankies in pink, a hand carved wooden duck body, a composition doll with it's original outfit, vintage eyelet trim and of course my sweet little bird.  Well, the duck body was not on my list but it is really cool and only one dollar! I think she might need a doll head and some wheels. Because everything is more fun with doll parts and wheels!

Then all of the sudden appeared on of my other desires! Vintage hat stands like the type that would have been used in a store. I scored four of them. I was giddy to say the least. In my excitement I rushed over to show my hubby. His response was "those are really dirty". Ok maybe he does not always see what I see but,  I am so lucky that he supports my vision even when he does not get it! He loves vintage but he really only speaks Vespa!